If you flip the coin, you find that darkness is also (usually) quiet and still - very intimate (and intimidating). While Alex worked third shift, I grew accustomed to being awake during the night when many most people are asleep. This time of quiet nights also gave me a special quiet time to spend with God. Admittedly, I did not use all of the potential God time that I could have. When we went back to daytimers, I felt as though I lost that connection time.
Over the last several months, when I've stayed up too late for my good (sleep issues), I've felt the drawing in the darkness. It has been as if God himself has pulled on my heart, tugging me to spend time with Him in the stillness. During the night, there's no phone calls, no chatting with friends/relatives online, no major worries - only time to spend in His presence.
Earlier I was feeling frustrated because I like sleeping normally and couldn't sleep although I felt the familiar drawing. Yet, I enjoy the nighttime intercessions.
Is it just me or does God call to us frequently in the still of the night?
It seems as if God is just saying, "Come!"
My papa used to spend long hours in prayer anytime he could. My dad would pray sitting on his bed while my mom unknowingly slept beside him. I've found that this MUST be legacy as I have been in prayer during the night while Alex is peacefully slumbering.
A while back, I found out that a few of my friends were being awakened or just awake at 3am with the urgency to pray. They were not alone as I felt that same drawing then. We never figured out why nor was it an issues. It lasted for a couple weeks.
Lately it seems as though I've had so many things on my prayer list that desperately need to be prayed over that I've overwhelmed myself into silence. God has given me "dreams" (not sleeping kind) for different things over the past few months. I've taken the liberty to write some of them down and share them with Alex. The crazy part of it is that I've been dreaming things that I have no control over. I know that it's God's way of moving into those needs if I'd only spend time praying over them. Sometimes, it's hard to spend that time praying especially when I have things to do for Him and I believe that this is one of the reasons why I feel the nighttime drawings.
Tangent alert!
I've struggled with getting the lessons written lately because before I start on them, I like to spend time in prayer for direction and so on. I've found that I delay on both parts lately. Why does it feel like a chore yet at the same time, an intimidating privilege?!
I sat in on a class which used one of the lessons that I wrote. As the teacher went through the Bible story that I picked to go with that particular commandment, I watched the faces of the children in the class. I was thinking that the teacher was making the impression on the kids. I had a sudden realization that the kids were being influenced by me. The marveling point to me was that it didn't matter what I did but it did matter what they learned. What God gave me to put into the lesson was what each teacher read and hopefully followed but whether they did use my lesson or not, He ultimately taught those kids.
Now, I am facing that realization again as I move into the new writing. This was not something I'd considered when I wrote any other lessons. It's terrifying yet a marvelous opportunity.
